The other morning as my husband commented that he was surprised I wasn’t bored of feeling the baby move. While, yes, I sometimes wish this kid would calm down a bit (like when I’m trying to sleep or do some studying!), I love feeling his energy as a sweet reminder that there is LIFE in my belly. But you know the old adage that there is truth in humor? Well, the next time I felt baby really getting excited, I – as usual – grabbed my husband’s hand so he could feel. He never refuses, but this time I teased, “I know you’re bored of it but…” I can’t even remember his exact reply, but it was definitely not the “No, I LOVE feeling our son move!” I wanted. So now when I feel the baby kicking, I feel guilty if I point it out – like he’s secretly rolling his eyes. Same with sharing bump pictures with my family (some of whom are trying to get pregnant).
May I please be excited about this without feeling guilty?
Yesterday I was leaving the library and I felt a group of students looking at me. They were laughing (undoubtedly at their own conversations) but my first thought was that they were laughing at my bump – like I’m the unwed teenage mom here! #bumpshame! Can that be a thing?
For the record, I’m married and I graduated college 3 years ago. I’m only in school now because I decided to go back for my Masters before (‘before’ – ha! God had other plans apparently) we had kids.
Anyway, I’m tired of trying to hide my growing belly (at 29 weeks I’ve only gained about 15lbs, so the bump itself is my only real giveaway) and tired of feeling like I’m boring the world with my news. I’m starting to understand why ‘mommy groups’ are a thing – for the exact reason I hated them pre-pregnancy: it’s a place to talk non-stop about your kids! OH MY GOSH, I AM BECOMING THAT PERSON.
I swore I wouldn’t, but I can’t help it. I love this little (still nameless) guy and I want to share every time he does something new.